Disney unveiled its Netlflix-like streaming service to the world yesterday, and, of course, it wasn't without criticism.
While I had my reservations, I think it is safe to say that Disney, like usual, has their shit together, and while a lot of us were met with the now-infamous "unable to connect" screen, it wasn't long before we were swimming through an impressive array of content, new and old. The launch included 7,500 episodes of current and concluded TV shows, 100 recently-released Disney theatrical films, and 400 movies from Disney’s exclusive catalog.
So, let's get into. Here are my choices for the WINNERS and LOSERS of the Disney+ launch.
WINNERS
Brian Posehn - How the hell is this guy Star Wars canon? I mean, seriously, who is this guy's agent? Because damn. Posehn went from being the comedian you halfway recognize at the airport to a STAR WARS speeder pilot! This dude went from playing sour cream to A GOD DAMN SPEEDER PILOT! All kidding aside, I met Brian in Austin a few years back, and he was nothing but kind. I'm insanely happy for him, but sadly he won't be around for the next episode.
Concept Artists - I promise this list isn't all Star Wars, but I need to mention the closing credits of The Mandalorian. The use of concept art to close the show was perfect! Star Wars has a rich history in concept art going all the way back to Ralph McQuarrie. It was nice to see these artists finally getting some rub, and for once, be showcased alongside the final product! Classy choice.
The Disney Afternoon - The Disney Afternoon was a created-for-syndication two-hour animated television programming block produced by Walt Disney Television Animation, the shows in the block aired reruns both on Disney Channel and on Toon Disney. Shows like Darkwing Duck, TaleSpin, DuckTales, Chip 'n Dale, Gummi Bears, and Bonkers were first introduced to kids through this block of programming. And guess what, they're ALL here! Well, except for Marsupilami. That’s still stuck on VHS. To be fair though, I would have bought Disney+ if for only to belt out the intro to Gummi Bears theme while my family stared at me from the kitchen.
Honorable Mention, Warnings - I’d like to applaud Disney for warning rather than editing. While I’m sure the “1-900-Spank Me” line is gone from The Santa Clause, it was a pleasant surprise to see THIS (below) when loading up some classic Mickey toons with the family. For those that don’t know, a kid actually called the number and got a real sex phone line, or at least that is how the story goes. I could care less if a Tim Allen throwaway line makes the cut, but don’t touch MIckey! Mickey’s Trailer is one of my all-time favorite cartoons, so to know, for a fact, that they didn’t touch it, these are the kind of things that help me sleep at night.
LOSERS
Disney's One Saturday Morning - Disney's One Saturday Morning was a Saturday morning cartoon block produced by Disney for ABC that ran from 1997 until 2002 with its most popular and well-known shows being Doug, Recess and Pepper Ann. So, while we do have Doug, we have Disney's Brand Spanking New Doug. At the time it attracted the highest ratings of any cartoon on the network. But seriously, what's Doug without the OG Doug? Seriously. I haven't been able to log back in since last night, so I'm not entirely sure if this is true, but I'm pretty sure we're in a similar situation with Recess. We have some of the episodes, but not everything. And the saddest bit of news I have to report is that there is no sign of Pepper Ann anywhere. C'mon Disney, give me something, a DVD set, anything!
Under Wraps - I am a die-hard DVD and VHS collector, but one of the movies that has eluded my grip for years is Under Wraps. I used to have an eBay alert set up for it, but I eventually gave up. It looks like it still fetches a decent price on most auction sites, but I can't say it wasn't the first thing I searched for when I booted up the app. It boggles my mind that Disney can provide us with everything from Halloweentown to Mr. Boogedy, but they didn't include Under Wraps. I mean, they can tell us that Mighty Ducks is coming in 2020 and Planes is coming in 2021, but what about Under Wraps? At this point, I don't even care if it's 2025, give us a "coming soon" screen, just so we know that you hear us.
Lag - So, after hours of trying, and we're finally logged in, it shouldn't take us 2 hours to knock out a 45 min show. While I know this is something that will ultimately get handled, Disney had to have known they were going to have a ton of traffic. I'm a little annoyed that they weren't a little more prepared. I mean, most people preordered, right? Even as of now, Wednesday, I've been trying to log in since I started writing this, and I literally just got through. Because of which, I can now confirm that not every season of Recess is available, we do have the movies, so that's a plus. A Disney plus.
Honorable Mention, Original Content - The World According to Jeff Goldblum seems interesting enough. I'm not saying it is something that I needed, but it is a welcome addition. I guess. The trailer for the live-action Lady and The Tramp seems good, but again, is it something I need? Nah. I'll probably give it a go when I'm sick at home, or when the family can't decide on what's next. Lastly, the reason why we're all here, The Mandalorian. The first episode was solid. Favreau gave us just enough to forget about the ongoing trainwreck of a trilogy that is finishing up in December, but we’re only one in, let’s hope it doesn’t go the way of the Jedi.
We win some, and we lose some. Overall though, I'm happy. It seems like Disney is listening AND responding appropriately. Which, is a bit new for them. And while I haven't jumped into a lot of the new content that Disney+ is offering, I am excited to check SOME of it out.
All and all, the few hours I've spent with the streaming service isn't too bad. Sure, there are things missing, but if this is the ONLY way I can revisit Bonkers in its entirety, then I'm all in!
I'm not letting the whole lagging issue carry too much weight, I give it a few days and everything should be functioning properly. That being said though, overall, if you have kids and/or want to revisit some of the classic shows from your childhood, go ahead and cancel Netflix. While Disney can't itch your murder show scratch, it's only a matter of time before there's an adult section that caters to that. Trust me, Disney knows what they're missing, and it isn't a lot.
Also, regardless of the latest edit, Han shot first.
Jessie Hobson