For a long time, I was reluctant to revisit Richard Fleischer’s Conan the Destroyer from 1984. I remember thinking it paled in comparison to its predecessor. These days, I still think that. However, I also think that there’s quite a bit of fun to be had, once I decided to stop comparing it to John Milius’ masterful original and just go along for the ride. June 29th is the film’s 40th birthday, so let’s talk about what it gets right and what it gets wrong.
Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as the titular Cimmerian and the opening of the story still finds him mourning the loss of his love in the previous film, Valeria. The sorcerous Queen Taramis (calculating Sarah Douglas) promises to resurrect Valeria for Conan, if he assists in a quest that will result in restoring a magical horn to a statue of the dreaming god, Dagoth.
Conan agrees and along with his companion, the thief Malak (the always welcome Tracey Walter, source of much of the effort’s comedic moments), the queen’s niece Princess Jehnna (Olivia d’Abo, in her professional debut), captain of the guard Bombaata (NBA icon Wilt Chamberlain), and Conan’s old friend, the wizard Akiro (Mako Iwamatsu, reprising his role), he sets out for the fortress of the powerful sorcerer Thoth-Amon (Pat Roach, best known as the beefy shirtless Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark). Along the way, they add the fierce bandit Zula (enthusiastic Grace Jones). The queen plans to double-cross Conan, though and orders Bombaata to kill Conan once the job is done. Though he is uncredited, wrestling icon Andre the Giant plays the monstrous Dagoth.
The father/daughter producing team of Dino and Raffaella De Laurentiis felt the film might do better at the box office if it was less violent and a little more humorous. As a result, this story feels a little more comic book-y, which isn’t surprising since veteran comic scribes Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway came up with the original story. They were reportedly unhappy with Stanley Mann’s finished script, though.
The story is no doubt softer, but it indulges in the more fantastical elements of Robert E Howard’s mythos. There are multiple magic users, two monsters, and a pair of magical items. There are a lot of characters here, and they’re all interesting, although not everyone gets sufficiently fleshed out. Thoth-Amon, in particular, is a major villain in the Conan mythos and he’s probably only around for fifteen minutes. Also, Douglas has disappointingly little to do.
Speaking of our performers, Arnold is as solid a screen presence as ever, even if I don’t think Fleischer plays to his strengths as much as he should. Still, as a physical visual force, Arnold carries the film. Chamberlain is thankfully given only a little dialog, but he is believably imposing in fight scenes. Walter is a great foil to his ripped colleagues, even if I think the script goes a little overboard in its attempt to lighten the tone. Jones is striking and brings a natural ferocity, giving the movie a charismatic spark.
The sets and costumes are beautiful. Taramis, Bombaata, and Zula all look super cool. Thoth-Amon’s island fortress and Taramis’ opulent palace both make an impression. Oscar-winning DP Jack Cardiff brings professional gloss to this fantasy world. He has an eye for heroic framing and ensures Conan, his friends, and his foes look mythic. I really loved the shot of the troupe crossing a desolate landscape in the background with the giant skeleton of what looks to be a mammoth in the foreground. Battle scenes are well done with the climactic battle at Tamaris’ palace delivering a thrilling finale. The creature design on Dagoth is neat and creepy, bringing some gooeyness to the sweaty affair. Composer Basil Poledouris also returns and elaborates on his epic original work.
Richard Fleischer’s Conan the Destroyer may not be as good as franchise originator Conan the Barbarian, and it may have a few too many characters given short shrift, but it still musters some fun and some cool visuals. 40 years on, it stands as a solid popcorn muncher. Recommended for fans of hiding jewels by swallowing them, dueling wizards, and brawny dudes kicking the shit out of each other.
Michael Cavender