True story: in 2014, while I was living in Riverton, Wyoming, I went to a thrift shop for fun and found two unlabeled VHS tapes. I was so stoked to see what was on them. I asked the little old lady at the front desk how much she’d sell them for and with a raised eyebrow she said, “Eh just take ‘em.” When I got back to my place I popped the first tape into my DVD/VHS player. Bunch of nothing. Literally. It was blank. Ejecting that one and replacing it with the second, I hit play and my friends and I were glued to that black-and-white static awaiting whatever was to come. Turned out to be a rip of “First Blood.” It was so random, but we loved it. About 30 minutes in, however, it went back to static. About ten seconds later: hardcore 90’s porn.
CineDump Rating: ★★★
Needless to say, I was hoping for some campy, maybe “cursed” tape, like that in “The Ring.” However, I would’ve been even happier to find a copy of Bobby Canipe Jr.’s “Grandma.” It’s that type of film you’d expect to find hidden, dusty, and covered with cobwebs, in the corner of a creepy roadside secondhand store. Filmed on miniDV with a 4:3 ratio, tracking issues, etc., it has the hallmarks of early Troma. Think “Redneck Zombies.” Any issues with the video quality or audio quality one could argue were purposeful (even if they weren’t). I don’t want to give too much away about the plot, but it drips with love and homage to “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” and “Eaten Alive,” the earlier days of what I like to call “trash slashers.” And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
The story of Grandma follows a young woman looking for a new beginning. She inherits a large sum of money and uses it to buy an old bed and breakfast way out in the country, with hopes to renovate and reopen. What she doesn't know is the terrifying history of the bed and breakfast. Unbeknownst to the young woman, 20 years earlier it was Grandma's Bed 'n Breakfast, a popular place for the locals to come and eat. The food was always so delicious, but there were never any tourists around for some reason. After several out-of-towners came looking for their missing family members, everything pointed back to Grandma. The police broke in, but Grandma was gone. The police found the missing tourists, along with many others, partially eaten in the freezer, but Grandma was never found, now believed to be dead after all these years. Now the young woman and her friends arrive, ready to start cleaning the newly purchased property. But it's not going to be as easy as they think. An elderly old woman in a gown is upset that there are people in her Bed 'n Breakfast, and she knows just how to fix the problem. Is Grandma back? Or is it someone else, somehow connected to Grandma?
The acting is a bit lackluster. Again, is that purposeful? Possibly. The screenplay is what you’d expect: nothing original. With films like these, you don’t need an original story or Oscar-winning performances. Audiences really just expect one thing: gore, and lots of it. Canipe Jr. doesn’t skimp on that. Bloody, brains, eyeballs, ears, tongues, decapitations, yes, gore galore. If that’s your cup of Grandma’s tea, then check this lo-fi gem out.
Jacob Scheer